Today is about a different kind of guilt, the guilt that shows up after, even when you already know you did the right thing.
You held the boundary. You said what you needed to say. Then, almost immediately, guilt arrives anyway, whispering that you were harsh, selfish, unkind.
Guilt is not proof that you did something wrong. Guilt is often just an old, familiar voice, one that shows up any time you choose yourself, whether or not choosing yourself was actually wrong.
Today, you are going to put that voice on trial.
You vs. Your Guilt
Read the following common accusations one at a time and see if you can shift your perspective with a slight reframe.
Accusation 1 of 4
“You let them down.”
Accusation 2 of 4
“You should have just said yes.”
Accusation 3 of 4
“They probably think you’re selfish now.”
Accusation 4 of 4
“A better person would have found a way to do both.”
Your closing statement.
Case closed.
Today’s move: notice when guilt shows up. Ask yourself, “is this because I have put a boundary in place?” Then remind yourself, guilt does not mean you did something wrong. Any new behaviour is uncomfortable until it becomes comfortable.
Say this out loud, five times.
1
Repeat 1 of 5
“Guilt is a feeling, not a verdict.”
See you tomorrow for day 55, the final day of the marathon.
